When Conception Doesn’t Happen

Part Three of the First Chapter of Maiden to Mother: Rites + Rituals to Honor the Passage into Motherhood

If you’re just arriving here, you’re invited to read the Introduction, Preconception, and Conception before this one.

In my womb healing work, I often meet with women who are trying to conceive.

Over the years I’ve discovered when conception isn’t happening, it helps to rule out some of the energetic and emotional factors that could be contributing:

Divine Timing

I believe the soul of a child has a specific destiny, and sometimes is simply waiting for the right alignment in the stars to be born. In Vedic astrology, the time of birth is considered a printout of a soul’s karma. It may take one or more years to align with the timing that would be most auspicious for their birth.

Fear

We may be on board for something with our rational mind, but there could be subconscious fears preventing a conception. Since it’s important for all souls involved to be a “yes” on a subconscious level for a conception to occur, it’s worth asking about your own fears, and/or having a conversation with the partner involved.

Take some time to journal:

What fears do I have about pregnancy or motherhood?

What subconscious beliefs might I be holding about becoming a mother?

Some examples:

How will my relationship change?

Will I still have time for my interests?

Am I afraid of giving birth?

Will I be a good mother?

In journaling and healing sessions one may discover underlying wounds, limiting beliefs, feelings of unworthiness, or subconscious fears that are ready to be healed.

When we are holding on to these fears or limiting beliefs, and they don’t have a space to be witnessed and loved, our body may postpone conception for protection.

I’ve worked with many clients to heal pain from their childhood, and their relationship to their own mother to energetically be ready to welcome a conception.

I believe the souls coming in now are like teachers for us, guiding us to our own spiritual inner work that may be in order to be fully prepared to welcome them into our lives.

Dynamics in the Relationship

After exploring subconscious fears and limiting beliefs, it’s important to also look at the relationship:

Do both partners feel on board?

Are there any conflicts happening under the surface?

Is anyone carrying shame or resentment?

Is there a mutual feeling of respect and love for each other?

Is there anything that is not being spoken?

It can be so helpful to have a conversation and share from the heart with each other. A space where fears, hopes and dreams can be honored and witnessed.

Perhaps this is an invitation to be honest, feel the emotions that arise and see if you can create a space of safety and compassion for each other.

Karmic Conditions

There may be certain karmic conditions that make conception more difficult (a Vedic astrologer can spot these). In Vedic astrology, we believe the soul comes into this life with a certain set of karma based on previous lifetimes.

We believe that our time on Earth is an opportunity to work out and burn through difficult karma and create good karma for future lifetimes to ultimately attain a more conscious and loving state, (the ultimate goal being liberation from suffering by reaching union with the divine).

There may be reasons we cannot know why becoming a mother is harder for some than others, but our Vedic chart can offer some insights. A Vedic astrologer can pinpoint timelines that would be most conducive to conception (think of it like finding out when the wind is at your back supporting you), often relating to when the 5th house (all about children) and the planet of Jupiter (the bringer of children) become activated.

Trauma Related to the Womb

It’s helpful to heal any experiences of birth trauma (your own birth, or your experience of giving birth), as well as any experiences of past pregnancies, abortions or miscarriages. You may also like to explore your relationship to the masculine (was there any abuse or abandonment in your past?), as well as any abuse or limiting beliefs inherited from the mother line (your mother, grandmother and great-grandmother on the mother’s side). Sometimes these imprints hold the keys to unlock the doors for a conception to occur.

Address Underlying Health Conditions

There may of course be health conditions underlying infertility (hormonal balance, physical barriers, etc.) in which case it’s best to talk to your doctor about next steps.

One may want to explore options we have available today like IVF and donor eggs/sperm. I’ve also worked with women who have had success on this path while healing spiritual and emotional factors that could be contributing.

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Whether its about healing emotions, trauma from a past birth, or other spiritual, emotional, generational or relational factors, womb healing can be so supportive.

I’ve supported many women to go on to have a healthy conception and pregnancy as well as women that choose to make peace with the possibility of not becoming a mother in this life.

For those who want to further explore if a womb healing session may be right for you, take some time to reflect and journal on the following questions:

Womb Healing Journaling Questions

Did I ever feel shame around my sexuality?

When did I not honor my own boundaries?

Did I ever feel shame around my menstrual cycle?

What’s the story of my first menstrual cycle?

What’s the story of my first sexual experience? Was I able to be in my voice and ask for what I needed?

How do I feel about being a woman?

Have I had any physical health challenges related to the womb? What could they be telling me?

Do I feel worthy and enough?

Have I had any abortions or miscarriages that I may still be holding grief around?

What was my experience of giving birth?

Do I know anything about being in the womb of my mother or my own birth?

What’s my relationship to my mother?

When do I struggle speaking up for myself or asking for what I want?

What holds me back from fully expressing myself?

(I often find challenges related to the womb are often linked to a sense of self-worth as well as finding confidence in using our voice)

Learn more about the womb healing work I do here:

Recommended Books for Preconception and Conception:

Spirit Babies: How to Communicate with the Child You’re Meant to Have by Walter Makichen

Sacred Birthing: Birthing a New Humanity by Sunni Karll